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i'll say goodbye​.​.​. and hope never to mean it

by rodeo

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1.
Goodbye City 04:25
tiered and dazed - in my thin sleeping bag, watching the trains as i roll past feeling betrayed by this city i don't know if it's a trend i think it's old and all my friends are picking sides tonight who was first here, who will win this fight you're both fucked up - i know it's true because i am - and i'm human just like you these last four months - i've been tailspining through alcoholism, twelve hour days, eight days a week i haven't had an honest conversation in longer than i can remember coasting through the motions of a dead end town and bobby tries in vain to sleep - she's upset again i think and rb and i talk - about life and fears and doubts and this finally feels right - waiting for eastbounds to roll by
2.
dear roadbike this songs for you although you may not hear it for several months i just want you to know that you're always here in my heart although small towns and fields and rugged mountain rocks stand between us, i know you are here with us do you remember the times we sat on the back porch of our old house and shared all our fears and you were always there when shit got tough i remember when you moved away, i guess it's been several years we hitchhiked there together, and always shared all our beers dear buckshot this song's for you though i know it can't be enough to say how much i miss you and the things we did when we were young we drank in the fields and sung all our favourite songs we put on punk rock shows and defiance, ohio came to town and alex blue this songs for you for the nights you stayed up late and showed me your scars and made me feel like i could be brave and to all you friends gone well i will see you soon together on this road we travel - so long and to all you friends here well i think i fear that this is no longer home i'm too attached to our past to ever feel this is clear but this isn't goodbye, it's see you soon for better days, for what we've been through for better days, i will miss you...
3.
It's 3am. Walker Yard. And all I'll be, is this tattered yellow card punched 7 to 3. In every waking day or empty night. And I won't hold back nothing, from this fight. We're making men richer, we're making men richer, they're making men richer, not me. Because I'm free. Rich as I'll ever be. And I hope on the road we won't be illusioned, we'll see our problems are only growing. And we'll be back and just want to fight, to create a city where it feels alright to walk down the street without being called fag, where we can build community and burn their flag. Gritty nails, my white sunken eyes, sometimes I still pretend you're here alive. And if I could run with frost bitten feet, I'd chase your shadow until we'd meet - in summer waves of delirious heat - my hands in yours for one last beat.
4.
your fires burn - through northern alberta sky's and flood waters drown - manitoba prairies tonight and luxury - i don't get why we want it so badly - miles away tonight shit isn't fucked - not until you feel it the cost of comfort - so hard to leave it and fuck you - for ever leaving... this city this dream this heart of mine everybody moved on while i was still stuck in time why didn't we grow up according to our own plan in ten years time we could have run this town but you sold out your heart - you raised a fake fist just to fit your life - as an anarchist kid when do ideals become petty drama what's our fascination with this head trauma well i want out i quit i'm so done, with this shit
5.
at the end of the tracks there's a bar named rose, past the three mile line where only travelers go. and we don't sip - we drink, as voices strain, our small talk wonders if the clouds will rain. and when it gets late we all sing along, to the chorused hum of the songs we sung. in these six years i made honest friends, across enemy lines in vulnerable trends. and we spill our stories to who stops by, at the very least we know we try. and then morning comes and they go on their way, back on the road for twelve hour days. these seconds surpass all that i've known, and I close my eyes, swallowed by their drone. you were off in a corner, sipping soco and sprite, to the steady thumping of an fm light. you were the stars i counted on my way back home, the miles of highway to my heart i'd thrown. and it's two am on every side of town, with my bag packed, i wait for whistle sound. my chest is tight but i lack the emotion, i hold tight your hand and swear devotion. and i opened my eyes and i was all alone, on a fifty three i was heading home. and i took the train to the end of the tracks, through the snow and wind i found myself fast. past the three mile line where only travelers go, drinking a beer at a bar named rose. and i skipped the talk of sun or rain, and got to the point and didn't feel ashamed. and i dropped my glass on the dusty floor, because i don't need to drink to feel anymore. and as fast as i got here i left this place, because i don't want to live and die this way. your choices are yours but they're mine too, should have told you then pop punk can't save you.
6.
huddled in my two by four of a bed i make, between your arms and legs and here is where i think i'm really safe before you slip away, and then it's bright inside and they're all at the factory just punching for dimes and i stare outside, but can't seem to make these legs work the snow collects on your porch, and it's mine and all things must die - i'm never as lucky sometimes it feels our cold hands grab railings, the december frost is setting in we're waiting on a basement - i slept on the garage again the dish water is clouding up the window panes there's ice inside tonight - the thermostat's stuck at 35 and we're so scared without chaos - in these steady jobs 9 to 5 paying our rent eating out every sunday night i saw your bedroom, it was covered in dirt of the relationships that never quite worked you filled them like cracks in the yellowing walls with pills and the ice and your stomach crawls jeremy said maybe it will rain tonight i don't think it has stopped in at least 40 nights when the sun is gone from the sky and the streets are quiet and our city dies we'll shoot the shit - go back to what we know cheap beer, warm beds, and we'll let it snow

credits

released July 1, 2011

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rodeo Halifax, Nova Scotia

my name is rodeo and i'm from alberta. i live in halifax right now. let's be friends?

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